WD-40
by Luke Farist
03/09/2010
Once upon a time in a land far, far away lived the Greek god Wheelisim Dayloosen Forday, a.k.a. WD-40. He was known for his special ability to make carriage lubricant flow from his fingers. All the folks men and villagers would come from around the known world for get his lubricant for their carriages. He was one of Ancient Greece’s most beloved gods because he made lubricant like no other handyman.
Although all of the people loved WD-40, there was another god who did not like him at all! His name was Rustosalease and none of the people ever came to see him. This angered Rustosalease and his revenge to the villagers was to make their chariots rust to the ground!
Rustosalease had a partner in crime named Collisionous who was always hanging around. One day, Rustosalease was interrupted from his chariot ruining when Collisionous had an idea. He came up with a plan to kill WD-40 at the yearly celebration that was held in his honor, then the villagers would have to love Rustosalease instead! This idea made Rustosalease very happy. They rushed off to the secret room in the back of their shed to sketch out their plan on paper. There, they drew a huge anvil falling on WD-40’s head and smashing him to smithereenous!
Finally, the day of the celebration had come. Everything went according to Rustosalease and Collisionous’ plan right up to the moment that the rope was pulled to drop the 350 lb. anvil on WD-40’s head. At that very moment, WD-40’s long lost brother, Ductapeial, swung down on his magical gray rope and shoved WD-40 out of the way! The huge anvil made a gigantic hole in the stage in the exact spot where WD-40 had just stood.
“Ductapeial, you just saved my life!” shouted WD-40 with a smile.
The villagers were so mad that even another god would try to hurt WD-40 that they surrounded both Rustosalease and Collisionous and strapped them to humongous boulder which they shoved off a cliff. As the 2 villains were headed for the depths of the ocean, the villagers heard Rustosalease yell “You haven’t seen the last of me! I will send the salt water spray of my watery grave to destroy the chariots of all your offspring until the end of time!”
